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Condiment Crew

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Condiment Crew was featured in April 2017.
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This article, Condiment Crew, is owned by Dove of Death, TheVinnyLord. Please do not edit this article without their explicit permission.


The Condiment Crew is a ragtag group of criminals stationed in the Underground. They are made up of unfortunately named monsters, each with varying skills to bring to the crew's power.

History

Founded by Mayonnaise and co-founded by Salt, the Condiment Crew grew from a small group into a large organization when it was realized that many monsters are, for some reason or another, named after food condiments. As their ranks grew in size so did their crimes and they rose to the top of the Royal Guard's wanted list in a matter of months. Most of the crew, however, were able to escape capture numerous times. "Most" is said due to a certain ladybug by the name of Ketchup.

Given a choice of a lifetime in prison or working for the Guard, Ketchup chose the latter because of Salt's stories of the Underground's prisons. She was taken in and trained as a new member, but still refused to break any information that could lead to the rest of the Crew's capture. With the leave of Ketchup came another new member into the Condiment Crew's ranks, a wyvern by the name of Butter. As a much more experienced criminal than Ketchup, Butter could help the crew much more than she ever could, but something was always off about him...

To this day, the Condiment Crew are still a very active group. Located in Waterfall and still led by Mayonnaise, they conduct various crimes on a daily basis.

Members

Mayonnaise (Deceased)

The Crew's founder and self proclaimed most un-boring member. Mayonnaise was but a simple thief, but did her job well because of her snake-like body, which gave her an almost silent slithering as opposed to footsteps. Though the founder, Mayonnaise was not a good leader. She left most of the planning to her other members and only called herself the leader to give herself some sense of superiority.

Salt

The mandatory salt-dealer of the Crew. Salt is a paranoid and naturally salty Gorgon, distrusting of everyone and everything, except some of the other members, just by a little. Being constantly on the salts she deals, Salt's strength and senses are enhanced, though the effects of being off of them will be severely weakening.

Relish

An assassin for hire who was frequently employed by the Crew before becoming an official member. Relish is a bat that thinks he's a vampire bat, and no one has the guts to tell him that he's not. Because of this, he sleeps during the day and drinks nothing but red wine (He would try blood, but monsters don't have any). He is quite skilled in combat in one on ones, but falls a bit short if he's outnumbered.

Sriracha

A rare, intelligent Temmie hailing from Tem Village, Sriracha has devoted his life to seeing the world burn. Plotting his arson perfectly, he excludes only his allies and his kind from his list of targets. The go-to guy for destroying evidence, Sriracha is usually the last to leave the scene of the Crew's crimes, leaving flames in his wake.

Pepper

A trained therapist who went down a dark path of crime. Pepper found she had a skill for scamming people and decided that joining the Condiment Crew was the best use of her newfound talent. She's a black rabbit with very droopy ears which give her hearing problems. Despite this, she is still one of the Crew's most understanding and nicest members. Or is she just pretending?

Salsa

Salsa is a strange frog, catfish... thing with a strong Mexican accent. He is virtually immune to fire and his role in the crew is live bait. He's great friends with Mayonnaise and she allowed him to join the Condiment Crew even without being named after a Condiment. Since Salsa is a codename, his real name is "Gian Cabbage".

Mustard

The Condiment Crew's secondary thief is Mustard. A literal cat burglar that rarely takes orders from anyone, even her higher ups in the Crew. She often gets into trouble but can slip herself out of it rather quickly. In secret, she has a large tulip garden that nobody else knows about.

Splenda

Splenda is the framer of the condiment crew. But not only that, they are a professional magic Rooster. They were recruited to the Condiment crew after Suger was kicked out. They are stern, rude, and over all just a bad person. As most of time, as they are not doing anything, they mostly make fun of everybody in the Condiment crew. Either by shape shifting into them and make fun of them in their own voice. OR shape shifting into someone and act like they are in love, with another member, and before anything happens, they shape shift back laughing at who ever they targeted, calling them a fool.

Vinegar

Vinegar is the brains and strategist of the Condiment Crew known for his genius intellect often many steps ahead of most of the members with a backup plan to spare in the most dire of situations for his Assassin Bug intellect (Even having a backup plan for a backup plan.) Usually playing it up in the highlights he works in the most deceiving of ways able to manoeuvre himself through even the most trickiest of escapades with strategy to spare.

Honey

A slime girl of a rather young age, this honey coloured member of the Condiment Crew is both the money launderer and the laundry person. While her attack power pales in comparison to some of the other Condiment Crew members, she holds two forms, the second only being used whenever her first form is destroyed. The most interesting aspect about her is her "hair," which acts as an extra set of limbs.

Paprika

TBW

Butter

One of the Crew's fighters, Butter the Sea-Wyvern also serves as a dealer of magic rugs. Of course, he won't be selling these to anyone; only to those he believes to be capable of controling the power. Extremely perverted, he won't stop his comments to even his comrades, must to their dismay. Butter is secretly an informant for the Royal Guard, though he is extremely corrupt.

Sweet & Sour

The replacements for Sugar and Ketchup, the duo known as Sweet & Sour do the job of the former two, but better. Sweet plays a charismatic role, whispering suggestions in a very convincing tones in victims' ears, thanks to her pixie-like form. It's almost like some demonic magic is behind it. Sour serves as the main enforcer, with his brute strength and macho-ness. He is the last of the Manlybugs, who were wiped out long ago.

Tahini

Tahini is a strong, lean, well-muscled man. He wears a ripped vest, having dark leafy green scales running vertically down the back of his neck. He has eerily bright green eyes and black skin, along with short hair and thorn-like 'horns'. These are silver. Tahini's real name is Herbie Harbours, but he prefers not to be called that. He wears elf-isa shoes with curly, pointed tips. These shoes are dark green with a black strap and gold buckle. His vest is a dark grey with the shirt inside being a plain white. He has large, bony knuckles and a silver ring on his middle finger on his left hand. He has a tail which splits into three, is black and wiry, but also thick. At the end of each tip is a perfectly round light gray mace, with dull white spikes. He has a rounded face, and somewhat large lips.

Nutella

Nutella can be considered one of the strangest members of the Condiment Crew. A half-Demon, she runs the Cult of Richten NEO, feeding and brainwashing the members with her blood, which seemingly happens to be the best nutella in existence. Her insanity can be hard to deal with at times, along with her cultists' strange actions, but at least they can be put to use for the group.

Guacamole

Guacamole is the Heavy Arms of the Condiment Crew whom utilises in close range combat and Gorilla Warfare usually fighting in hand to hand combat, it seems that even the toughest have a problem pushing him down. Even if he's not the smartest of thinkers or the quickest reactors, he's extremely loyal to his team and getting the job done with plenty of time to kick back and relax.

Peanut Butter & Jelly

Peanut Butter & Jelly is a renowned Pyromaniac and Demolitions Expert whom always likes the sounds of explosions fill the air, or a good detonation with it giving him the upmost excitement when he destroys large structures with his plentiful explosives. While this Scorpion lacks a bit in personal-safety and math he's always up for blowing up a bank vault or monument for the glory of his crew.

Worcestershire

A small creature with an owl-like appearance. He says he's, quote: "20 years old!" He has the stature of a 15-year-old, maybe a bit smaller. He is, however, 15. However, his small stature makes him very agile, making him effective in thievery. He is not only agile, but, being a bird creature similar to an owl, makes him effective at scouting out locations in the dark, as his owl-like anatomy gives him night vision. Due to being so young, he's not very vocal about his feelings. He prefers to keep things tucked away rather thank talk about them. This means he can have major mood swings, going from happy-go-lucky to angry at the slightest word. For some reason, he has an attraction to Nutella's blood, wanting to taste it, despite knowing that it's used to brainwash people.

Gulkand

WANNA SEE WHAT DESTRUCTION LOOKS LIKE? HERE IT IS IN MONSTER FORM - IT'S YOUR BOY GULKAND! Gulkand is a recent addition to the Condiment Crew and a bit of an oddball at times. He's a modern day gangster who used to go solo before joining the Crew when he learned of their existence. Gulkand does a lot of stuff for the Crew and is a jack of all trades, but he excels most in creating distractions for them by causing havoc elsehwere. He also loves toying with the Royal Guard, who he thinks are all complete idiots.

Mint

TBW

Saffron

A bat-creature of some kind with giant wings and sharp teeth, and humanoid looking. Saffron has orange-ish mostly red skin with darker, strand looking haired, mullet, he wears a tuxedo and shades and is very toned, he is a master of pick-pocketing and is a master thief and mafia scammer, he scammed a mafia leader and injured around 7 people before getting put in prison. once released he began to start crime again, but was deciding and decided to hide out for a few years. He is also an intimitdating being as he used to be a loan shark, he has claws that when scratched with, feel like saffron in your nose. He has a lot of connections with the thiefs of the underground and can get you any money neccesary, he also is a master fighter in many skills, as he used to work with the crew back when it was early, he was like an illegal bank dealer, and he will be willing to help his friends, his rivals, and Condiment Crew with anything neccesary. He also was a role-model for a couple of low level criminals as he is the most wanted single criminal in the underground, as well as having specially modified saffron he eats alone to boost his wing power, he has a special power to where his eyes can scare someone literally stiff for 10 seconds, and he is willing to work as a bank teller or criminal thug, no matter what his enemies say, he will always have his friends backs, even if it means death.

Amba

Amba is a 17 year old elephant monster, and someone in need of a girlfriend. He entered the Condiment Crew after hearing about the groups' female members, thinking he could easily impress them. Before his attempt at joining the group, Amba has had a small amount of crime in his past. The girls that he flirted with called the Royal Guard for him, which resulted in him becoming a small threat towards the Royal Guard. His only real help towards the crew is his Strength, which most members only know him for. Despite this, Amba attempts to flirt with the females in the group. He remains confident that one day, he will be known as one of the best criminals of all time, he dreams about. He dreams that it will happen, while carrying some heavy object.

Vegemite

Vegemite is a vegetoid with a very explosive personality. He is a lime green and wears a red mask on his eyes. He is armed with dual pistols that never seem to reload. Often seen as the least likable, he is rude and has a dangerous temper. He joined the Crew due to his excitable sadism, and stayed for the rewards of thievery. He actually has a soft side and enjoys knitting but he hides it often to seem more stereotypically masculine. Despite his rude demeanor he enjoys the company of his fellow criminals and hates being alone to a point where he will stalk Crew members. He fits his role of crowd control well, his revolvers intimidating the monsters he wishes to steal from greatly. Unfortunately, being a strange green colour, he is easy to spot in a crowd.

Wasabi

Wasabi is a humanoid squid-like monster with an inability to speak. She has a human's face with multiple thin tentacles coming out the base of her skull, resembling strands of hair. Wasabi's skin is light purple, and in the sunlight, she might seem a bit translucent. Typically, she wears a white wooden mask with strange symbols carved onto it, covering her face. She is quite tall, but weighs very little, due to her lack of bones. Wasabi constantly gets into trouble with the police because of her crimes, such as murder and theft, for no apparent reason. Her arsenal consists of two silver shortswords and a long silver and cobalt katana. Wasabi tends to act rude to new people. Since she cannot speak, she is a lesser known member of the Condiment Crew.

Ranch (Formerly)

Ranch is a humanoid monster, born with poor eyesight and later crippled, he wears glasses and uses a wheelchair to get around. He is around 5'9 (if he could stand). Although Ranch professionalizes in scams and identity theft. It is often pointed out how his disability would make him useless in a fight scenario, however he has shown to be good with pistols, and is the current weapons developer for the crew, using his scams to fund his research. Ranch recently left the Condiment Crew and turned himself in. In order to get a lesser sentence, Ranch turned over information on the Crew's leadership. He left the Crew so as to spend more time with Lily.

Ketchup (Formerly)

Ketchup is a former member of the Condiment Crew and current member of the Royal Guard. She was captured on a failed mission and chose to join the Guard instead of serving prison time. Even though she's a ladybug, she is unable to fly as her wings are too small to get her body off the ground. Her Guards' training has given her the ability to glide somewhat, and has made her a much more capable fighter than she was in the Crew.

Sugar (Formerly)

Sugar is another former member of the Condiment Crew, though unlike Ketchup she was actually kicked out for her uselessness in a crime scenario. She was far too sweet and innocent to ever do wrong, and since she's a tiny pixie with only supportive magic, there's not much she could have done anyway. She currently roams the Underground looking to clear her name from the Royal Guard's wanted list.

Garlic (Formerly)

TBW

Barbecue Sauce (Formerly)

Barbecue Sauce was a Crab member of the Condiment Crew being referred as a lookout or Scout of the Crew serving as a watchdog for incoming guards or to clear the coasts. However, he could never learn to keep his mouth shut or when to not go ahead usually putting himself and his mates in serious danger, eventually he was caught and thrown into prison and currently plans his escape by digging with nothing but a bent fork.

Joining the Condiment Crew

"To join the best Crew in the entire Underground, you need to:

  • Be a monster
  • Be named after a Condiment
  • Be a criminal
  • Have a role that would actually benefit the Crew

If you're all of these, post a paragraph about your character and I might just accept them into my ranks! Maybe."

-Mayonnaise

Gallery

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